THE PSYCHO WARD
How I got involved in a Psycho Ward
When I was 15 the killing started. I couldn't help myself, the knife was sooo shiney. I killed my goldfish. Six months later, I dressed in lingerie and tried to act to like Batman. When that didn't didn't work out, I took a couple odd jobs, mostly at a Candy Store. But when parents started suing me for giving their children PMS, I quit, ran out, and haven't been back since. One day, I saw an old man who thought that he was Marilyn Manson. He was very drunk, lying in a gutter. I told him to get out of my bed, and he started to sing THE DOPE SHOW. I thought, hey, he's a person like me, just a normal guy. He has no one to turn to. So, I decided to make a safe place for all those whackos, nuts, and weirdos out there.
Do you know someone who needs help?
Does Aunt Gladys stick socks on her hands and pretend she's the Little Mermaid? Did your sister build a shrine to Baby Bop? Did your brother shave with your Uncle Reemus' toenails? Do you think they need help? We're here for you. Just E-mail us at [email protected], and we'll make them an official member of our Psyscho Ward. You'll be sent an official certificate showing that that special crazy person you know will be in good health. Hey, we fixed Leonardo DiCaprio's paranioa problem. He was afraid of Giant Pilsbury Dough Boys, and look at him now...never mind. But E-mail us, we care.
Our members!
Steph, treated for extreme caffeine and sugar highs.

Monica, treated for being a Bill Clinton wannabe.

Joanna Lesher, treated for using her butterfly clips to gouge out people's eyes.
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